What is REAL love??

Everybody has their own opinion on what REAL love is, yet there are no solid rules. I've been doing some research into the big L word, as I dont want to let the one I'm meant to spend the rest of my life with pass me by.

I'd like to get married someday, and want to make sure it's to Mr Right. Many people assume that love is supposed to effortless. Failing to realise that the honeymoon period won't last forever. No matter how hot he or she is. People are often too easy to drift in and out of relationships. What happened to good old commitment?

The honeymoon period (also known as Infactuation, false love, short term love)

When your heart skips a beat. You can't get him/her off your brain. You get chills, butterflies in your stomach. You miss 'em even if you just saw 'em yesterday. The sexual attraction is REAL INTENSE.

Infatuation feels like love, looks like love and is often mistaken for love – but it isn’t love. We know that infatuation isn’t love, because infatuation always fades away with time and doesn’t come back (with the same person) whereas true love will stay after infatuation disappears.

Infatuation feels so good, that some people become infatuation junkies. Jumping from partner to partner. Always seeking that temporary high that infatuation brings. 

Infatuation can be highly addictive and the withdrawals when it fades can be damaging to the couple involved.

Infatuation is an intensifier of feelings, similar to salt being used to enhance and intensify flavour, infatuation does powerful things.

Eventually, you come to realize that your partner isn’t the most perfect, beautiful or handsome, and loving person in the world. Life becomes temporarily all about your partner when infactuated, and other things seem to fade in importance.

During infatuation, you could talk all night. You can survive with almost no sleep. You can ignore your responsibilities. You may pay no attention to your health.

If you don’t know or realize what infatuation is, you can make some VERY big mistakes.

When you find “Mr. Right”…everything is great. Almost 100% and bit by bit over time the percentage drops. We are designed to have tremendous attraction to another, while blocking any “negatives” that may try and cloud our vision of bliss. This initial infatuation stage typically lasts 18-36 months. There is a chemical imbalance in our brains when we “fall in love” and over time it wears away.

There are many that are in love with being “in love”.  They are infatuation junkies.  They love the high that being “in love” brings.  They love the feeling of being 100% happy. Just like drugs though, the high wears off. A constant chasing of that high can also lead to addiction problems as well. Where they are constantly changing their partners, in order to keep the excitement level high. If we stay the course with one person, the thrill of being in love wears away and we are left with a person that we either LOVE or we don't even know!

Falling in love is easy (providing there is the right chemistry), loving someone is a lot more difficult.  We tend to group the falling and being in love as part of the same process when in fact they are very different.  The falling in love part comes naturally, and sometimes we don’t have direct control over our feelings and emotions in this regard. Loving someone is a choice. We do have control over it, and it requires effort.

Many time after the “in love” stage fades, we find ourselves unhappy because we are no longer “high”.  Being in love makes us feel good, loving someone doesn’t really have any direct exciting returns, so we start looking again.  Loving someone requires a high level of tolerance. There must be a direct desire to love that person. In order to go the "distance".

My award for female model of the year!

Roughly 6 months into my career as a model I entered myself as a possible winner for a first of it's kind Uk urban female model of the year award. 

The 1st ever Uk urban fashion awards were held during November 2006 at the Porchester Hall in London. I was greatful to have been chosen by the public as the winner of best female model *smiles* 

The urban fashion awards was a great event, which was attended by cool fashionistas, urban media and celebrities.

Arriving at the award ceremony, my family and I were shown to our v.i.p seats. I had to trot backstage to get prepped with some makeup before being called out to accept my award.

I remember going backstage to be met by unfriendly, envious looking faces. Catwalk models and backstage team members. (Whats new!) 

I shrugged it off, and got on with preparing for my cue. I was nervous, as there was a catwalk that I'd need to make the most of. I'd decided I would strut down it and didn't want a Naomi moment to take place!

My category was finally announced, after what felt like a lifetime! A magazine editor called my name out. The crowd applauded as I stepped out. Shook hands with the mag editor and catwalked down the runway. Stopping at the end to have my picture taken by the press. The adrenaline from being on stage is such a rush!

I held my award with pride and said a short speech. Talking about how hard I'd been working within the industry. How I'd had to struggle with alot of hardship, and of course how greatful I was. 

 
I felt humbled when the crowd applauded and cheered after hearing a bit about who I was. I was glad to have won the crowd over, as people often judge me negatively. Before getting to know me.

I was rushed off to talk on camera with an urban Television presenter. He was filming behind the scenes footage with the winners from the night.

All in all it was an eventful evening. A first of it's kind in the Uk, and I was glad to be a part of it. There were awards for best customiser, lingerie designer and more.

As with most events and media within the Uk. I felt it could have been publicised alot more than it was. 

Still. It's nice to have an award for model of the year on the mantel piece!

Even though many people within the industry have hoped to stop my shine and would never congratulate me on my achievements. *Hi haters* 

The award still helped to give me more credibility and recognition. As one of the few succsessful urban models born out of the Uk.

Work hard at your dreams. Never let anybody tell you what you can and can't achieve. People tried to undermine my talent and ability, and they now have to eat their words. My achievements would never have happened if I didn't believe in myself and keep on striving!

If you're feeling lonely. Read this

I've decided I'm gonna try to stick with this. Ride this storm. Hard as it may be.

God really does work in mysterious ways. I've read a few positive things online recently, which I just happened to stumble across in my time of need. 

I've sat crying, going over and over things in my head. I even slapped myself and said "come on Dani, snap out of it!"

I feel lonely...Maybe God is weeding out the people in my life who shouldn't be there. The people who will hinder my success. My happiness.

I haven't had complete solitude for a long time, and maybe this solitude will strengthen me. Maybe I need to go cold turkey and not hide away from my current life situation. My true thoughts, desires and feelings.

We could all end up lonely at some point in our lives.

In this solitude. There isn't much outside influence. There isn't much room for ignoring the state of my life. And that's a good thing. Even though I can hardly see it. For what good is ignorance or denial??

Maybe this solitude. This feeling of complete loneliness that I haven't truely had for the longest time, will push me to excel and to cope. To face reality. No matter how harsh and blunt it may be.

My son's growing up!

I don't really plan to do blog posts focusing directly on my son. As I want to allow him his privacy. (There are alot of weirdos online too) 

Even after 4 years of parenthood, I still can't believe I'm a mother!

I remember when he was a little baby, now he's running around and ready to start PRIMARY SCHOOL in September!!

I've just finished applying for my 4 favourite schools in the area. Seems like it was just the other day that my mum was sending me off for my first day! Now it's my turn *gulp*

It's a big world out there, and I just hope he has a better time then I've had during my 23 years of life.

(Part 1) of why I gave up Uk urban modeling

First off let me start by saying. I'm a HARD worker. I go hard at what I want.

I've achieved alot in terms of the Uk modelling industry. Without any guidance, management or funding whilst battling depression and raising up a child 24/7 on top of it all.

It takes a hell of a lot to cause me to give up at something I desire. I was 100% confident that I had the goods to go all the way to the tOp. Not because I'm full of myself, but because I've realistically analysed public reaction, the competition and my image. 

I have an adaptable look, giving me versatility.

I have a non-streotypical physique. Tall, slender and athletic (fashion and catwalk)

PLUS curves and a booty (video/glamour modelling)

I can be well spoken and composed. Some chicks be jus straight hood! I know how to conduct myself and banter with all types of people in different situations. 

However I've never been loud, desperate, attention seeking and ass kissy. (I have nothing to prove and I'm not insecure) so people who are on this hype would mistake me for being shy, stush or overly confident. *Rolls eyes* Psst "It's called being mature ; )

Now putting all of that aside. There is only SO much you can do on your own. Especially when you have time and money limitations.

The state of the Uk urban modeling scene is a TOTAL SHAM!!! YEAH I said it!!

I'm gonna break this down into categories, posting up different industry subjects that give you an insight into the Uk urban modelling industry and why I've quit it! Here goes topic 1..

Music videos

Models with curves and models of colour are scarcely used in high budget music videos, and those that are lucky enough to land a video spot are more than likely unpaid or underpaid. 

It's a total disgrace! I can not wholely blame the artists, labels or casting agents for this voluntary work that so many ditzy's are happy to participate in. As there will always be girls who are willing...desperate to say "I'm famous I am" "I model I do" "Peep me in so and so's video" or who are jus plain ol' tryin to bag a date with the lead singer! They just want to be known and adored. Nothing wrong with that mind. If you have talent!!  

No offence to the young girls. The teenagers. Thats cool, because you girls are young, just having fun. Probably don't have any bills to pay and are trying to gain experience and it's a good thing. I've been there. All the pro's have been there. But not all the voluntary workers fall under such categories, and how long can the video recruiters use the "great for your cv line?" It's insulting! 

There should be main, paid roles available for professional, "star quality" girls. 

I know alot of it has to do with the fact that there aren't really any signed urban artists who aren't puppets on a string. Therefore the artists have no money to spend on doing things professinally or doing things their way... But, having decent models and actors in your video should be seen as an investment. It's about your image at the end of the day. It's not rocket science! 

Modelling is not a hustle for everyone. It was for me. I knew my worth, just from the reactions I've received from people. I know I'm a rare, valuable accessory. I mean, people fork out on flashy cars for their vids, but then drag in any average "she's on it" girl off road? (Thinking with the little head) smh

They couldn't care less about not getting paid. The young, misguided women who stunt in these vids for free are not outstanding model material or women with acting skills, so why should they get paid anyway!

I've had tons of music video offers, but have ignored or rejected most becauce:

They are unpaid. Or They are paying small change Or They haven't approached me professionally, given me the full break down. (I will only do PAYING, featured roles) so they settle for second best- an unexperienced "she's on it" girl who is happy to take part without even transport home.

I decided. Fuck this! The next video I'll be doing is my own : )

At least If I was being rewarded for my time spent on a video set then I'd feel happier about putting up with:

• lack of security (beef on set and valuables at risk of being stolen)
• bitches hating (being the only girl in the room who nobody wants to talk to, the one everybody's staring at)
• loooooong hours (arriving at 7am. Everything being behind schedual and leaving well past bed time)

There are a few decent REAL models who know how to compose themselves, look the part and act the part, but there isn't much paid work for them in the Uk.

Next time I'll be talking about Uk modelling agencies. So subscribe, and feel free to post a comment with your thoughts.

xxx

Danielle

My blog is 1 week old! Thanks for reading : )

Hey there,

just wanted to thank all of you guys that read my blog- for reading my blog! It's only been up a wEEk but has already had a good response. I've been posting every day so far (and it's much harder than it looks I tell you!)

It's worth it though : )

Thanks again for reading and plz leave some comments on the posts, ya dig?

Beauty tips on a budget- reducing puffy eyes/ dark circles

If I've been crying alot the night before. I usually wake up to horrible puffy eyes. YUCK!

There's no way I'm stepping out, looking like I've been in the ring with Mike T, so I trust in these cost effective ways to get my eyes back to a naturally fresh looking state.

To reduce eye bags/ puffiness

1) Place a cold, (wet) teabag on each eye for a few minutes to reduce swelling.

                                                    
                                             or

2) Press some frozen food on closed lids for a few minutes. (A little painful, but well worth it!)

Tried and tested : )

To brighten dark eye circles

Dab a small amount of creamy, solid concealer. (A tad bit lighter than your complexion) on your finger and smooth under your lower lashes. Making sure to blend. Apply more as required.

Apply a tiny bit to the lids, blending right round and up to your brow bone. 

(It should be virtually undetectable)

And there you have it!

xx

Danielle